I’ve been struggling to even out my sleep schedule. Last night I suddenly knew what I needed: a cup of reishi mushroom tea. Reishi grows in the forest, and abundantly on dying hemlocks. I photographed the one above in the Chattahoochee National Forest. It’s a large, hard mushroom, with colored bands and a red waxy cap. … read more Magic mushroom
Tag: sleep
The bed’s too big
When we’re staying here in the rental house, I think of Joni Mitchell’s song “My Old Man“: But when he’s gone, me and those lonesome blues collide, the bed’s too big, the frying pan’s too wide… Even when my old man’s here, the bed’s too big. And too wide. Because it’s a king, not a queen. … read more The bed’s too big
Editing on deadline
[Oct. 26] I didn’t really sleep last night. Should have been a good night’s sleep, because I was dead tired from two days of driving back from Virginia and the emotional exhaustion from the intensity of that visit. But duty called. I was up half the night waiting for page proofs. What a feeling. It’s … read more Editing on deadline
Fair compensation
So much of my days are consumed with being a secretary for Tom: disability, health and travel insurance claims, work and personal emails, returning phone calls, writing updates for family and friends, reading him comments on Facebook posts. I don’t mind. It’s easy work and the compensation is very high. Like today, I got to … read more Fair compensation
Lightening up
I was up at 4 a.m., roaming the house, trying to get away from the noise I was hearing outside. It sounded like an air conditioner, one that was struggling too hard and needs to be fixed. It ran and ran and never shut off for the two hours that I was awake. The sort of … read more Lightening up
The stealthy view
My neighbors were getting the coolest nighttime photos – bobcats, bears, foxes, and even a mountain lion! OK, the alleged mountain lion was ultimately determined to be a house cat, but still. It was pretty exciting for awhile there. So I bought a Stealth Cam, and set it up on the front porch with great anticipation. … read more The stealthy view
Restless
There’s something about those square numbers on a digital clock … that ugly electric red … and when the numbers are 4:53 – arggggghhhh – just knowing how little sleep I’ve had makes me even more restless. And once the mind starts going, it’s all over. It’s like an ear worm from a song, except your … read more Restless
Train tracks
The train was all black, going fast, on a track that followed the rim of a wooden volcano. Its whistle was full of darkness, echoing into the cavern of void around it. I was scared, even as it curved away from me. I knew it would be back. That is the first dream I remember … read more Train tracks
Other gifts, too
About a month into my recovery, a friend who is an herbalist and practices traditional Chinese medicine told me: “Your shen had a fright and has yet to fully return. Taking baby steps to make things nice and cozy ‘in Lisa’ will entice your shen’s full return.” She recommended herbs, meditation, looking at green things, being … read more Other gifts, too
The same, but moreso
DECEMBER 20: One thing I’ve noticed about my recovery-era feelings and behaviors is that they are unquestionably genuine. I don’t have to wonder whether they are some psychodrama I’m re-enacting, or some manipulative behavior that my devious subconscious has come up with. They come straight from inside my own head, unfiltered, authentic. And they’re not … read more The same, but moreso