On Monday afternoon, I had the strangest sensation. I’d slept pretty well, gotten up and read with my coffee, worked on a blog post, then got down to work. I rapidly cranked out a bunch of tasks. Something felt different, but familiar. It was like, like …. I mentally squinted, trying to figure out what … read more A new feeling
Tag: recovery
Rolling on
I remember the day Tom got his wheelchair – Aug. 6, the day he was discharged from the rehab hospital. Only a month after his stroke, he could get to and from the chair and a bed, a regular chair, and a shower bench. The chair was a liberation, a sign of great progress, an … read more Rolling on
What I learned when I almost died
Exactly one year ago today, to the hour, an axe hit me in the head. A brain aneurysm ruptured and flooded my head with blood. The extreme pain, dizziness and nausea cut a dividing line through my life – one second I was fine, the next I was on the verge of death. I can … read more What I learned when I almost died
Counting my pennies
The day was a struggle. Couldn’t find things, couldn’t do art, my brain was not working, my feelings were painful and confused. I broke out a new brick of pennies, and sorted four rolls into years. I was still crying at the end of those 200 pennies, but I felt a little bit better. So I … read more Counting my pennies
Whatever makes you happy
I got a free therapy session, courtesy of a fellow caregiver. He wrote, My counselor asked me last night, “what makes you unhappy?” I was struck by that. I struggled to find something that made me unhappy. I started to blame (my ill spouse) for not taking care of herself, to justify my unhappiness. But … read more Whatever makes you happy
Other people’s troubles
When I had to turn down a research gig, my contact at the client company wrote me a private note. She suggested that I get in touch with the Spousal Caregivers / Well Spouse Association. She knew about it because her husband has had MS for seven years. I was really shocked. She’s a young … read more Other people’s troubles
The Monkey’s Paw
Every time I’ve seen a wish granted that didn’t turn out so well, I mutter, “Monkey’s paw.” Be damn careful what you wish for. In fact, just stop wishing altogether. Maybe you read the short story by W. W. Jacobs, “The Monkey’s Paw,” in grade school, like I did. The story was written in 1902, … read more The Monkey’s Paw
Walking through mud
For several weeks, I’ve been having strange sensations. As though I am melting, like chocolate in the hot sun. As though I am walking through mud and can’t pick up my feet. As though I weigh 400 pounds, even as my actual weight continues to drop. When these were just occasional and physical, they didn’t … read more Walking through mud
Sunday therapy
Finally, a day off. Slept in. After I made coffee and brunch I was free for a few hours to write while Tom was reading. Like a normal Sunday. We came up with an ambitious agenda for the afternoon and evening. We wanted to go to the playfield so that Tom could walk on the track, … read more Sunday therapy
A path to Lullwater
Tom wasn’t done with rehab today until nearly 5 p.m. I wanted to beat the rush hour traffic, so I drove into town early and went to explore the vast park just across the street from the rehab hospital. Lullwater Park is part of the Emory University campus, and technically is only available to students and … read more A path to Lullwater