Stupid. Idiot. Dumb-a**. Fool. Nitwit. Dope. Dipsh*t. Brainless. You use those words much? I have. They’re insults we throw around all the time: while driving or shopping, in heated Facebook discussions, yelling at the TV. Maybe we even mutter those words at ourselves when we make a big mistake. In nearly seven months since my … read more Being an idiot
Tag: aneurysm
Restoration work
My mother bought this bracelet 40 or 50 years ago, at a flea market or something. It’s sterling silver, from Mexico, and the stone is an amethyst. I always loved it. The stone had a fissure in it, which I thought was intriguing. Then Dad took some jewelry-making classes and replaced the amethyst with turquoise. It was … read more Restoration work
Three miles
Today was just not working out. I slept very well, and it was a lovely day, but I was so groggy and thick-headed that I couldn’t begin to function until 9. I had planned to start the week right by doing art first thing, but when I looked at the glass I didn’t have any idea … read more Three miles
Honestly Amy
I admit it: I am an impatient and intolerant reader. Bad writing and stupidity will send me into a rant against an author after a mere page, and I have no compunction about ditching a book completely. I recently assigned myself to read memoirs written by survivors of ruptured brain aneurysms, since I’ve been thinking … read more Honestly Amy
Holes in my head
For more than a month, I’ve been running my fingers over the new holes in my head. OK, they’re not actual holes – you can’t look into them and see my brain. They’re large dents and grooves. Seeing as how they’re in my skull, they feel pretty freakin’ significant. They are near the incision that was made for … read more Holes in my head
Watch over me
It’s only this week, now that I feel almost fully recovered from the brain surgery, that I realize what a big deal it was. Eleven weeks today, almost to the minute, since that aneurysm ruptured and I collapsed on the floor. I really did almost die. And the surgeons really did dig through my brain. … read more Watch over me
Down time
Another low-energy day. Hours of down time. Arggggh…. why? Maybe because my sleep was broken up; maybe because it’s a Sunday; maybe because it’s the day after a good time out on the town and a 3D movie. But whatever the reason, it made the day into a struggle. One that the aneurysm itself created. This … read more Down time
The new normal
Today is the first time I’ve been moving at a normal speed for the whole day. Although I didn’t exactly jump out of bed, I woke up around 7:30 a.m. and had a normal morning routine: a shower, coffee and breakfast, my art improv exercise, reading a magazine. A month ago, I couldn’t imagine normalcy … read more The new normal
Workouts on paper
The state of my brain has begun to come out in my construction paper workouts. One that partially expresses the feeling of having been attacked: Trying to regain my sense of equilibrium: From yesterday, one that gets at the resistance from my brain to my own commands: Here’s me, with my ever-shifting levels of energy: And … read more Workouts on paper
Accomplished
My biggest accomplishment of 2015 is that I survived it. I like the sound of that – it has the right mix of crispness and surprise. But … nah. “Privileged white girl! What do you know about survival?” my inner critic hisses. The people who should be allowed to take credit for surviving 2015 are … read more Accomplished