Stupid. Idiot. Dumb-a**. Fool. Nitwit. Dope. Dipsh*t. Brainless. You use those words much? I have. They’re insults we throw around all the time: while driving or shopping, in heated Facebook discussions, yelling at the TV. Maybe we even mutter those words at ourselves when we make a big mistake. In nearly seven months since my … read more Being an idiot
Tag: brain
Honestly Amy
I admit it: I am an impatient and intolerant reader. Bad writing and stupidity will send me into a rant against an author after a mere page, and I have no compunction about ditching a book completely. I recently assigned myself to read memoirs written by survivors of ruptured brain aneurysms, since I’ve been thinking … read more Honestly Amy
One thing at a time
I’ve signed up for 61 courses on Udemy, and 32 on Coursera, and 12 on EdX. I have started about a third of these courses, and I’ve only completed seven or eight. What does this say about me? It’s not for lack of interest; I was excited about each of them when I signed up or bought … read more One thing at a time
Holes in my head
For more than a month, I’ve been running my fingers over the new holes in my head. OK, they’re not actual holes – you can’t look into them and see my brain. They’re large dents and grooves. Seeing as how they’re in my skull, they feel pretty freakin’ significant. They are near the incision that was made for … read more Holes in my head
Train tracks
The train was all black, going fast, on a track that followed the rim of a wooden volcano. Its whistle was full of darkness, echoing into the cavern of void around it. I was scared, even as it curved away from me. I knew it would be back. That is the first dream I remember … read more Train tracks
One of those days
More than once, during the 18 phone calls I had today, my brain gave out. It just stopped working. I continued to take notes and make verbal responses, but my brain wasn’t making sense of the sentences that were being spoken. I had to write the words down verbatim and hope that my notes will be … read more One of those days
Curves and ice
I was standing at the stove cooking, and suddenly it hit me again: the ax in the head. I wasn’t having another aneurysm rupture. Just for a moment, I was re-living it. The fear that gripped me. Being alone. The pain and dizziness out of nowhere – no warning at all. One minute I was … read more Curves and ice
Other gifts, too
About a month into my recovery, a friend who is an herbalist and practices traditional Chinese medicine told me: “Your shen had a fright and has yet to fully return. Taking baby steps to make things nice and cozy ‘in Lisa’ will entice your shen’s full return.” She recommended herbs, meditation, looking at green things, being … read more Other gifts, too
Watch over me
It’s only this week, now that I feel almost fully recovered from the brain surgery, that I realize what a big deal it was. Eleven weeks today, almost to the minute, since that aneurysm ruptured and I collapsed on the floor. I really did almost die. And the surgeons really did dig through my brain. … read more Watch over me
Bumpy turf
There’s ridges on my head. An indent deep enough that the sides of it make two ridges, and a double-wide ridge just above my temple. The indent is the leading end of the incision they made for the surgery. It’s maybe an inch or an inch and a half long. The ridges on my temple … read more Bumpy turf