Water solvable

Are you unhappy? Or maybe just feeling like your life isn’t all that stellar?

I have a sure cure for that – just 10 easy steps!

1. Go to your utility room, and find the main water shut off valve. If you don’t know where it is, find out as soon as possible.
2. Turn the valve to the right to turn it off. It may take a number of turns.
3. Go about your normal day. Make your meals, get ready for work, take care of family members. But don’t turn the water valve back on.
4. Keep the water valve off for at least 48 hours.
5. When you need water, go to the storage space where you keep your emergency supply of water. You do have an emergency supply of water in the house, don’t you?
6. Use that emergency supply of water to make coffee, make your meals, do your dishes, flush your toilet, and wash yourself. You might need to be a little careful, since the average American family of four uses 400 gallons a day.
7. When your emergency supply runs out, go to the grocery store and buy more. On average you will pay $1.19 for a gallon, slightly cheaper than gasoline.
8. If that seems too expensive, consider other options. Perhaps you could fill a container at your neighbor’s house. But of course you have to carry it home. Don’t strain yourself – five gallons of water weighs about 42 pounds.
9. Find the nearest outdoor water source – river, swamp, drainage ditch – and try gathering water there. Get a really large jug, and hold it in the water until it fills. Then pick it up and carry it home. On your head.
10. You might also consider conserving water. For example, flush your toilet after three or four uses, since one external flush requires at least a gallon of water. It works better if you use less toilet paper. You could also capture and reuse your dish rinse water in the wash side of the sink.

For additional fun, keep track of how much time it takes you to gather this water, do dishes by hand, and wipe down the toilet seat after you flush the toilet with an external source.

If you make it through 48 hours, I guarantee that you will be a happier person than you are right now.

I can vouch for this method. I’ve been living without running water for five days and I’m really happy: My house has electricity, a gas stove and a microwave, wifi Internet, an electric recliner couch, and no meth dealers with shotguns roaming the street.

If you follow my example, you’ll be happier too. You also might come to realize that merely by having running water in your home, you are among the world’s upper crust.

More than 40% of the world’s people – that is nearly THREE BILLION of us – live every day of their lives with the inconvenience that you’ve put up with for 48 hours.

Speaking of time: Women and children on our planet spend 125 million hours each and every day to collect their water. For lots of them, that doesn’t leave enough time to go to school, or do work that pays any money.

But that time may seem worth it to them if the water source is clean. One out of 10 people on this planet do not have access to safe water.

For that 10%, using water means taking a chance that they will get sick. Even the healthcare facilities in these countries don’t have a safe water source. Imagine going to the hospital and not having clean water.

Are you happy yet?

Today’s penny is 2015. The World Economic Forum announced in January last year that “the water crisis is the #1 global risk based on impact to society, as a measure of devastation.”