Today started out just like I expected. My birthday morning coffee was spectacularly special, because I shared it with the love of my life, Tom; my precious oldest sister, Ann; and my oldest friend, Dan; and all of us around the same table. I grinned at birthday greetings from my friends all over the world … read more Not quite the birthday I expected
Category: Refraction
How a wave changes direction. Life changes, creating change and recovery from change
Whack job
For seven months I have been patiently growing out my hair. After it was shaved in one place for the brain fluid drain and then chopped off by the nurse tech, I figured that my hair, like my brain, needed time to recover. Eventually my hair was long enough that the weight of it was pulling … read more Whack job
Train of thought
At the beginning of recovery from brain surgery, I couldn’t pay attention long enough to read anything, play a game, or even follow the plot of a movie. I was afraid that would last forever. I have a subscription with Lumosity for brain-training games. They are designed to improve your memory, attention, flexibility, problem-solving, and speed. … read more Train of thought
A thousand fears
Saturday’s supposed to be the easy, fun day. The one where you just relax and do whatever you feel like. I spent most of the day nearly paralyzed with anxiety. Every thought leads to a fear. In the shower, I move very slowly, afraid of falling. I watch Tom warily, because I’m afraid he will up … read more A thousand fears
Making room
I woke up to this post from my friend Lee Howard that smacked me in the face: You’ve all been so amazing and compassionate with the massacres at Virginia Tech, Sandy Hook, Paris, and Belgium and places far afield. … Guess what, it’s generally crickets chirping when it comes to a gay massacre in this country. … read more Making room
Certain kind of wind
Cold that comes in the wrong month, big oaks have to bend, light that’s caught in the leaves, a certain kind of wind Air from the Caucasus, memory of other breezes, uneven breath, an old man’s sighs, homesick for an unknown place Movement without purpose, shapes without form, stirred restless without progress, old movies on … read more Certain kind of wind
Being an idiot
Stupid. Idiot. Dumb-a**. Fool. Nitwit. Dope. Dipsh*t. Brainless. You use those words much? I have. They’re insults we throw around all the time: while driving or shopping, in heated Facebook discussions, yelling at the TV. Maybe we even mutter those words at ourselves when we make a big mistake. In nearly seven months since my … read more Being an idiot
This is a DATE, right?
We had already gone out twice. We met for drinks at 7 in our neighborhood bar. The first time I looked at my watch, it was midnight. What a novelty, to spend that much time just talking with a man and not feel even a little bit bored. The next week, we had lunch at the neighborhood Mexican restaurant, and went … read more This is a DATE, right?
A diet that actually works
Today when I was dressing for water aerobics class, several ladies asked if I had lost weight. “Yes, I have!” I said. “Fifteen pounds in about two months.” “Wow!” they said. “You look great. How’d you do it?” So I told them. And now, for free and with no obligation, I will tell you. There … read more A diet that actually works
Three miles
Today was just not working out. I slept very well, and it was a lovely day, but I was so groggy and thick-headed that I couldn’t begin to function until 9. I had planned to start the week right by doing art first thing, but when I looked at the glass I didn’t have any idea … read more Three miles