My week is not going so well. My body feels like a hostile robot that I cannot control: The sciatica lingers, the opiate drugs constipate the digestive system, thinking is slow and feels generally purposeless. Tom does not hover overly much. He knows that I’ll tell him what I need and that I hate to whine. … read more Feeling like a burden
Category: Refraction
How a wave changes direction. Life changes, creating change and recovery from change
The Great Brain Rebellion
When my mother was dying, during the last period when she wasn’t really talking coherently, my sisters described how she was really restless and struggling … A thousand expressions passing across her face in a short time, even in her sleep, as she physically groped for and asked questions directed to things and people long gone. Clearly she … read more The Great Brain Rebellion
The pill schedule
When my parents were in their last years, and I’d visit them in Arizona, I was appalled by how many pills they were taking. And this is before they were actually ill. I remember making up little schedules for them, so that they would be sure to take the right pill in the right quantity … read more The pill schedule
Sleep sleep sleep
Poor Tom – he lost his Thanksgiving holiday while I was being shuffled around and then out of the hospital. Now he’s stuck with me, the patient less than two weeks past surgery, who needs help with everything. No wonder Emory sends a social worker around to make sure the patients will have a caregiver … read more Sleep sleep sleep
Impatient patient tossed from hospital
FRIDAY, Nov. 27 (WORDPRESS BULLETIN): Just 12 days after collapsing with a ruptured brain aneurysm, blogger Lisa Schnellinger has been released from Emory Hospital in Atlanta to the custody of her primary caregiver Tom Willard. The discharge came two days earlier than previous optimistic estimates. There were unconfirmed rumors of a threatened mutiny by Emory … read more Impatient patient tossed from hospital
Give thanks to …?
The hospital food service offered turkey, dressing, and the like, and I took it. Pretty good, really, although lacking in a certain aesthetic appeal, served on a dining tray in a sterile room. The decor from Sara was the bright spot. I offered to share my dinner with Tom. He had a few bites, and … read more Give thanks to …?
False alarms
How’s a person supposed to get any sleep around here? The ICU is just plain noisy. Every apparatus connected to me, and there are a half-dozen, has an alarm. And those alarms go off day and night, whether there’s something to be alarmed about or not. Generally the ICU staff themselves are quiet (though I … read more False alarms
The young chaplain
Since this is a teaching hospital, there are lots of people here learning to do their jobs. Today we had a visit from a chaplain who’s just an intern. He was in his mid-20s, with dark curly hair, a slim build and kind eyes. Tom and I were surprised to meet him, since you’d think … read more The young chaplain
Palette of cerebral fluid
Before this aneurysm happened, I was playing with color palettes. I’m still seeing in bands of colors. When I look around my ICU room, I even see the variety in the whites and grays, limited palette though they are. My cerebral fluid, though, is a palette in a bag. And those bands of color are … read more Palette of cerebral fluid
Chop job
[Nov. 22] A 56-year-old white woman with dreadlocks just is not OK. So today I got my hair chopped off. My hair was turning into clumps that didn’t look like hair, and it couldn’t be washed or combed. It was just getting in the way of all the medical equipment. The doctors had only shaved a … read more Chop job